Thursday, November 8, 2012

Where Did I Put that Extra Hour?

The affects of moving from Daylight Savings Time have long worn off, and only some cruel reminders remain - night recedes slowly, still, in the morning.  At workday's end, I'm rushing to beat the deer on the highway.

Tonight, in front of me downtown, I saw a young, handsome family, very caught up in the traffic and their schedule, or so it seemed.  They were seemingly unaware, in their haste, of the blessing I so appreciated.  The dad was holding the hand of the oldest, a young and loyal daughter.  The mom had her baby's hand, a son, and clearly full of energy, even with the day fading.  I was sure they didn't notice their blessings like I did.  Yes, I was judging them.  I wanted to tell them to forget about their domestic concerns, their bills, their jobs, the car, and anything else that was challenging them.  Soak in the blessing of those beautiful children who drop by, quite possibly uninvited, and find a place at the table and in your heart, for such a short visit. 

I'm thinking of my baby, who caught a flight this afternoon to Atlanta, just for dinner.  I'm thinking of another one of my babies who had the new experience of buying a studfinder this week after buying a new home.  And I'm thinking of my oldest baby, who is thinking about babies herself.

It's official.  I'm old.  I've uttered those words - in the quiet of the night, in the privacy of the shower, in the commotion of the car:  Where did the time go?  I'd love to have my 3 blessings at our table, under our roof, for just one more quick dinner before we head off to soccer or to scouts.  I like to think I savored every moment, and I did and do feel God's touch when I think about the gift of motherhood that graced my life - but the truth is that many moments I was just trying to hold it all together and be that household appliance they needed me to be.

Weekend Treat and definitely in the cassette deck twenty years ago:  Sinead O'Connor - Three Babies:

Lyrics:  each of these my three babies I will carry with me for myself I ask no one else will be mother to these three and of course I'm like a wild horse but there's no other way I could be water + feed are not tools that I need for the thing that I've chosen to be
in my soul my blood + my bones I have wrapped your cold bodies around me the face on you the smell of you will always be with me
each of these my three babies I was not willing to leave though I tried I blasphemed + denied I know they will be returned to me each of these my babies have brought you closer to me no longer mad like a horse I'm still wild but not lost from the thing that I've chosen to be
and it's 'cos you've thrilled me silenced me stilled me proved things I the face on you the smell of you will always be with me.

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