Goodbye Girlfriend!

So it's a little overwhelming to have two major losses in one day.  Not only must I deal with the 30 Rock finale, but another big distraction in my life, my workplace, is undergoing and coming to grips with the resignation of a very popular teammate, a co-worker of 8 years, my friend Jamie.

Jamie and I found common ground very quickly when she came onboard, and it had very little to do with work or anything very technical.  We had hungry, active, treasured boys at home and wonderful 2nd hubbies.  We connected.  Our bond strengthened as we both left our comfortable lives as techies in our respective buildings to take on new assignments and join the executive suites of 38 Macbride Hall, along with the cockroaches.

Jamie has made coming to work a little easier because of her sunny disposition and her general knack of keeping things light and interesting.  She's "all that and a bag of chips" - one of her many endearing expressions I won't soon forget.  She has pulled me up more times than I care to admit as I moved from mothering to managing.  Aside from purchasing policy pain and a bunch of other  IT-related headaches, we had many other compelling topics to cover on a regular basis:  our love/hate treadmill relationship, Vitamix fun, wine, hair, shopping, shoes!  I will miss you, Jamie - and remember you.  And please, don't forget what a hard working "good girl" I am when you find yourself running your empire.  Blerg!

Ellipses . . . A Cautionary Tale

In sending out an email message this morning about the bad weather and working remotely on this snowy day, I received some email responses and happened to glance at my original email text.  Weird - there was this strange character  - Š - automatically being inserted into some of my text.  When I signed off with, "Be safe out there..." it translated into "Be safe out thereŠ"

Since I'm working from home today and am only occasionally interrupted by my wonderful SO, SJS, I took the time to solve the problem on this one.

Windows readers - ignore!  This only happens when composing on my MacBook Air!  For such a sweet machine, this is embarrassing!

Here's the solution:  Go to System Preferences. Then Language and Text. Under text, turn off check next to "...".  This fixed it in conjunction with unchecking in Outlook - Preferences - Auto Correct - Auto Format unchecking "...": with ellipses.

But it got me thinking about ellipses.  (You know, those dot-dot-dots you often see, especially in email writing, because that tends to be more conversational and certainly less formal.)

And how much I love them . . . I think it all started in high school when I penned a feature column called Ramblings.

And so I started down this path of learning more about ellipses.  Most of us employ an ellipsis to show some sort of an omission, such as shortening a long quote (but never, ever change the quote's meaning).  Or we use it as a pause, to tell the reader we are thinking on something, or to indicate the passage of time, or if we want to give the reader the sense that something is left unsaid.
Most of us also overdo the ellipsis . . . and some find it annoying . . .

The other big takeaway today for me:  When you decide to use an ellipsis, realize you are substituting it for a word or phrase so use it as such and be sure to make it correctly!  Don't use two dots, or five dots - it's always an exact 3 ellipsis points, people!  There are actually special non-breaking symbols you can use if you want to get fancy but the period in everyday work is very acceptable - just make sure to have a space before and after the 3 periods, which also, by most accounts, calls for having spaces between the periods (please don't look at my use of the amazing ellipsis in any previous blog post of mine)! 

Hugs . . .

 

Westward

Our tri-state weekend is almost over, and, driving home, er, to Cedar Rapids, although tired, I am feeling overwhelmingly renewed for the work challenges ahead this week.

Hanging out, with Shawn beside me, in Milwaukee (Joe), Chicago (Scott and Kate, Matt and Kelly) and Bettendorf (Sunday dinner with my parents and Goddaughter Jenifer) - that's better than home, because the people we visited are my definition of home. It's such a treat, such a fabulous retreat, to see loved ones moving about, smack in the middle of the fabulous lives they've created.

At Mac's American Pub, in Wicker Park.

Hangin' - after hanging some pretty awesome blinds.

Our 45 minutes in Milwaukee, on a Friday night, at a Starbucks.

A perfect hostess!  Kelly, in her new kitchen.

Special time!

The big "C": Communication

The big "C" - I'm actually not talking about cancer.  Rather, communication.  And if you don't do it well, your relationships can suffer, not unlike a cancer that robs you from all that matters.

Tonight our engaged couple, from church, stopped by for the lesson on "Marital Communication".  We talked about how early love, that phase of "in love" - otherwise known as "we can't keep our hands off each other" is such a misunderstanding.  When we are "in love" with each other, communication is so easy we hardly even think about it.  About the only thing we notice is that we have so much in common.  We pay so much attention to each other and often remark at how wondrous it is that we can practically read each other's mind.

Then, life happens.  The end of romance, the introduction of disillusionment, aka the natural and normal progression, hopefully on to something called mature love.  Sometimes the feelings of closeness and safety are replaced with real fear as we dive a little deeper.  We become increasingly aware that we are actually quite different from our partner.  We realize that our different-ness is pretty darn real and that's when our friend Communication is really important.  The tools needed to build a good house include: 

• sharing (you gotta share who you really are - your fears, hopes, dreams - in spite of feeling vulnerable),
• listening (with the goal of understanding, not judging),
• acceptance (honor that person you chose!), and then...the frosting: 
• further growth because you continue to risk exposing and sharing your entire self.

If you forget all else, remember this:  this is one place that it's okay, in fact absolutely imperative, to talk about yourself.  I-statements are the key!  "I messages" expose what's going on with you.  For example:

"I would like to tell you how I feel about (your mother, your clothes, your breath, your job, your friends, your drinking, etc.), do you have time to listen?"

or

"I feel (bad, isolated, neglected, insecure) when you (watch TV, run the car out of gas, make plans for us, eat the pizza) and I wish you would (think of me, ask me, consult me, consider me) before making decisions that impact both of us ."

Avoid "You messages" such as:  "You don't understand" or "You would not believe" or "You did this..."

"I messages" tend to OPEN up conversations - "You messages" tend to shut DOWN communication.

I'm out of here.  Keep it real.  Time to find Shawn and communicate...and pour a little red.

Tastes

Even though I've done this a couple of times, I've only been recently involved with 21st-Century wedding planning...wowza.  There's a lot to it! 

We were honored to attend the tasting event as part of the wedding preparation for Matt and Kelly and their big day at The Hotel at Kirkwood Center.  What a beautiful venue.

Music, cake, flowers, centerpieces.  So many tastes...so many decisions...so many opinions.  And the only ones that really count are the wishes and desires of the two who are making promises on this big day, their day. 

The groom - in negotiation-mode.

Decisions, decisions.

So many decisions...

Two favs

MOB with Bride and Groom...Cheers!

Champagne fountain - how fun is this?

Happily engaged...just exactly the way it should be.

So.Much.Fun!

Lessons from Laurie

I didn't know Sharon very well, but I came to know my sister a whole lot better through Sharon's death six years ago today.

For sixteen months, my sister Laurie was Sharon's caregiver as together they traversed the journey of cancer patient and, finally, Hospice client.  I'm sure I won't can't get all the details correct, but they both taught me - about death, and about caring for the dying.

Laurie is a crier, just like me, which is one of our common bonds.  But she was a rock when it mattered, and it mattered a whole lot during those sixteen emotional months.

To say it was a difficult time doesn't paint the picture.  Laurie became a medical expert and a patient advocate for Sharon.  Laurie learned blood counts, oncology options, CT scan results and consulted on all of it.  There were a whole lot of sacrifices, compromises, inconveniences, and late nights online remotely so the wheels didn't come off her work commitments.  She did all of that (and I know I don't know the half of it) and she would've done it another sixteen months, or years.

What I saw in those difficult days was a woman who was so committed to the integrity of another human being that you couldn't help but sit up straighter, to try harder, to be better.

At Sharon's funeral service, Laurie delivered the eulogy.  I was nervous for her.  She's a crier - how is she going to do this?  I saw my sister's strength like never before.  She gave a final gift to Sharon, and to all of us who were listening.  Her eulogy was a toast to her best friend, her sister-by-heart, and she was amazingly strong.  Her composure, her resolve, her grace - these things were modeled for me by Laurie that day.

What I've seen since Sharon's death is a loved one so full of grief that in the early difficult days her words slurred, her hand seemed unsteady, her eyes were so sad.  What I've seen in the last few years is a woman who fully understands the gift she was given and treasures it and can talk about...and, having witnessed death so intimately, really values all that comes with purposeful living.

Thank you, big sister, for the life lessons.  I hope I get a ride in your new Mustang soon.

Lentil Love

From my BFF, Gwyneth - ok, actually from www.goop.com:

Lentil ‘Meatballs’

2 cups cooked lentils

2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced

1small onion, finely chopped
2 large eggs
1 cup panko breadcrumbs
1/2 cup fresh ricotta
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese (the real stuff, people)
3 tablespoons tomato paste
pinch of each: dried fennel seed, dried thyme, dried rosemary
handful of cherry tomatoes
½ cup packed basil leaves

olive oil

sea salt
freshly ground pepper

Preparation

1. Heat the oven to 375 degrees F. Arrange cherry tomatoes in a baking dish and drizzle with olive oil. Season with sea salt and freshly ground pepper and place in oven. Keeping a close eye on them, cook for about 5 minutes until they’ve burst and melted, but not burned or dried out. Keep oven heated for the meatballs.

2. Drizzle a pan with olive oil, place over medium high heat and add onion. Sauté for about a minute until translucent. Add the garlic and dried herbs and a pinch of salt and pepper, sautéing for about another minute or two until soft and fragrant. Turn off heat and set aside to cool.
 

3. Place lentils in a food processor with tomato paste and a drizzle of olive oil and pulse until smooth.
 

4. Beat the eggs in a large mixing bowl. Add ricotta and mix with beaten eggs until combined. Add lentils and mix together until smooth. Add onion/garlic/herb mixture from the frying pan, parmesan and panko breadcrumbs and season with salt and pepper. Mush together (hands are best for this) until combined. If mixture is still feeling wet, add more breadcrumbs until the mixture is dry enough to stick together and roll into balls.

5. Place basil in mortar and pestle drizzle in about 2-3 tablespoons of olive oil, and grind until it forms a thick oil (it’s ok if there are still bits of basil).

6. Roll lentil mixture into small balls and place on baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and bake for about 8-10 minutes. Turn balls, and bake for another 5 minutes, until slightly browned.

7. Drizzle with basil oil and serve alongside cherry tomatoes.