Friday, May 6, 2016

IQ? Who cares! What's your EI?

I've been reading a lot on Emotional Intelligence and it has me all worked up - my emotions are popping up all over!

It really is humbling.  There's so much to learn.

Straight from wiki:  "Emotional Intelligence describes the ability, capacity, identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups." 

The ideas surrounding Emotional Intelligence are quite simple, and obvious, but it's the application of the ideas that are difficult.  What I mean is this:  Emotions are valid, legit, and unavoidable.  We're human!  And, duh, where there is conflict, there is always emotion attached to it.  If there's no emotion, there's no conflict. 

When two or more people disagree, there's conflict.  And where there's conflict - there's emotion!  And emotion always trumps, er, outdoes, logic.

Working up your skills in emotional intelligence is important because it helps you manage your own emotions as well as predict how people might respond to any given situation so you can plan accordingly. Way more important than being smart, really.

Being in touch with what you're feeling and then naming and managing those emotions is the first step.  For some, the go-to emotion is anger or frustration.  If you know this about yourself, you can more readily watch for triggers and develop a plan (walk around the block, count to 10, breathe, wait, call a friend, eat some chocolate).  When you are under the grips of the emotion, it's best not to do much at all.  Wait it out.  Recognize the pattern you are carrying out.  Do you happen to glimpse your mom or dad?  Not too surprising...we tend to behave in ways that were modeled to us long ago.

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