Birthday Buddies - part 1

Happy birthday to my big sis, Laurie.  She shares her day with our dad, and has shared her life with all of us.  She is my go-to person to gush (that obnoxious mom way) about every little thing one child or another has accomplished or received - and she listens with energy and enthusiasm (often tears) and always follow-ups.  She's been that person for me for as long as I remember and I love her for that.  Happy birthday sister.  Can't wait to share a GT with you soon.

Spending time with her Joe-Joe

So Long Tension, Hiya Pension!

Laurie didn't start her retirement one minute before she stopped working.  But one thing I know she knows, she's not retiring from life, she's just retiring from the career she started 44 years ago. 

Laurie, you are retiring FROM: long days of travel, hotel and plane jumping, the alarm clock, the black pants, the VPN, the always-on feeling...

You are retiring TO:  waking up and not having anything to do, and now you can do that many times a day if you choose!  Watch the rest of us going off to work, knowing we will be dealing with inept jerks, endless meetings, working lunches, incomplete documentation, broken promises, extra assignments...oh, and reorganization!

Congratulations, sister, you've earned every golden moment.  Looking forward to toasting you later today.

Leisure by W.H. Davies

WHAT is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?—
No time to stand beneath the boughs,
And stare as long as sheep and cows:

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass:

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night:

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance:

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began?

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Just some sisterly advice for you, Lj

Lessons from Laurie

I didn't know Sharon very well, but I came to know my sister a whole lot better through Sharon's death six years ago today.

For sixteen months, my sister Laurie was Sharon's caregiver as together they traversed the journey of cancer patient and, finally, Hospice client.  I'm sure I won't can't get all the details correct, but they both taught me - about death, and about caring for the dying.

Laurie is a crier, just like me, which is one of our common bonds.  But she was a rock when it mattered, and it mattered a whole lot during those sixteen emotional months.

To say it was a difficult time doesn't paint the picture.  Laurie became a medical expert and a patient advocate for Sharon.  Laurie learned blood counts, oncology options, CT scan results and consulted on all of it.  There were a whole lot of sacrifices, compromises, inconveniences, and late nights online remotely so the wheels didn't come off her work commitments.  She did all of that (and I know I don't know the half of it) and she would've done it another sixteen months, or years.

What I saw in those difficult days was a woman who was so committed to the integrity of another human being that you couldn't help but sit up straighter, to try harder, to be better.

At Sharon's funeral service, Laurie delivered the eulogy.  I was nervous for her.  She's a crier - how is she going to do this?  I saw my sister's strength like never before.  She gave a final gift to Sharon, and to all of us who were listening.  Her eulogy was a toast to her best friend, her sister-by-heart, and she was amazingly strong.  Her composure, her resolve, her grace - these things were modeled for me by Laurie that day.

What I've seen since Sharon's death is a loved one so full of grief that in the early difficult days her words slurred, her hand seemed unsteady, her eyes were so sad.  What I've seen in the last few years is a woman who fully understands the gift she was given and treasures it and can talk about...and, having witnessed death so intimately, really values all that comes with purposeful living.

Thank you, big sister, for the life lessons.  I hope I get a ride in your new Mustang soon.