Welcome to Miami (bienvenido a Miami)

I've been wanting to visit Miami, the cruise capital, since well before Will Smith's 1997 hit.

The Jackie Gleason Show was a staple I enjoyed as a kid; I remember hearing about exotic Miami Beach and have wanted to visit ever since!  I know about it's reputation (bad things, yes) but also it's listing as the country's cleanest city.  It's apparently one of the richest cities, too, in terms of its purchasing power...there are many international banks and companies.  The Magic City awaits!

Downtime: Scheduled.

I'm scheduling my downtime just as seriously as I've planned my next dental appointment.  If I just wait and hope I can decompress on the fly, well that's what happens - I never really unplug, refocus, reflect, connect.

I'll probably return to 400 work emails, but I will be returning with a renewed productivity that I can only get, I've told myself, by going to southern Florida for a few days. 

New favorite beer:  Florida Lager

Flips!

We splurged on new flips for Florida...and due to plantar fasciitis and a big urging from our doctor/friend Liz, we settled on Chacos.

Love them already!  They have all the casual hip knock-aroundness of flip flops but with hidden support (they call it a LUVSEAT footbed)!  And in addition to comfort, the company is big on philanthropy.  I just love their advertisement:  Support your feet.  Support our world.

Now that is true comfort.

Quick Draw

We did it again!  Out of my comfort zone and through the snow...we went...to the Knights annual blood draw in Fairfax.  And I always feel so good, albeit a bit weak, afterward.

Did you know?

A person with AB positive blood is known as a universal recipient (someone who can receive blood of any type), and someone with O negative blood is known as a universal donor. (a person who can give blood to recipients of any blood type). 

Whitney, the kind young woman who put up with my wisecracks:

Whitney:  Can I get you anything to drink?
Me:  Yes, how about a Vodka Tonic?

Whitney reminded me they get people like me all the time.  Don't forget, she said, we go to the high schools.

Up to four different products can be produced from each whole blood donation:  red blood cells, platelets, fresh frozen plasma and cryoprecipitate.

It's official -we're common and average.  Both Shawn and I have O+ blood - and enjoy popularity with the most common blood type (39% of the population).  Whitney, my personal phlebotomist, told me this profound thing:  Positives can get from negatives but not the other way.

One more thing on Smarts

When all reason dissipates and you have a sizzling situation that makes you feel like you just need to replace the emotional equivalent of a spark plug to get moving again, try asking yourself these three questions:

1) Can I fix this?

2)  Do I have to put up with this?

3)  Should I walk away?

There.  Now as quickly as possible, go outside and look up and really see the sky.

Smarts

I've been hearing a lot of GMAT and business school chatter and know with a certain conviction that I wouldn't score in the upper quartile of any quantitative testing...

But there's more to a happy life than high test scores.  I'll take my emotional intelligence any day, thank you - although, I wouldn't get a perfect score on that test, either.

They say that those who most need to work on developing their emotional intelligence (and this is learnable, people) are the very ones who don't realize it!  Their empathy and self-awareness scores are low.  A little study and a bit of instruction can kickstart your mark - and life's experiences can help, too, if you are paying attention at all.

Rethink your style if you notice anything familiar here:

     What you say:  "You don't have a clue!"
     What the listener hears:  "You're not smart enough to understand!"

     What you say:  "I don't know why you are making this a big deal!"
     What the listener hears:  "I don't care how you feel!"

You might decide, if you want to work on your EI (great NY Resolution, I'd say), to grab a hot drink and sit in quiet reflection, analyzing a recent interaction that went a bit sideways:  What did you intend to say?  What was the impact your words left on others?  How do you think your words (now that you are replaying this tape) made them feel?  And before you see those people again, think about the impression you want to make and the objective you want to reach next time. How do you want to be regarded afterwards?

My biggest challenge is remembering to press PAUSE in the middle of a frustrating discussion.  I'm not suggesting I should slip off the chair and fall under the table twirling my gnarly hair, although that can be tempting, it's just important to help others feel like you've understood them, and you can't do that if you are jumping in, lashing out, interrupting. 

I also need to remember to wear BOTH shoes...not just putting myself in the other's situation but also not dismissing my stuff in my sick pursuit of likeability.

Using these tools, I'm hoping for a better score, today, next week, next time.  I'm hoping with more practice, I can approach prickly topics with a chill confidence that allows everyone to feel like they win.  Smart, huh?

All We Have is a Gift

I'm having a bit of an after-holiday hangover, even though I enjoyed every minute (and did "detox day" yesterday - thank you Lord for H2O!).  So I'm turning down the volume, walking the block, ignoring the grid for a bit.

I'm thinking about how service to others can define us and fill us and leaving us wanting nothing.  How the choices we make, including the behaviors we indulge, are recorded in the lives of others, especially our loved ones.

I think I forgot a mantra I meant to adopt this year - to live and lead mindfully, to let others see their greatness when looking to me.  There's one for December, and maybe for 2015.

How we live our days is how we live our lives.   Andy Dillard