The Difference You've Made

Tonight, at the funeral wake of a successful, beloved young man, his mother asked me about you, and your arrival in this crazy, bittersweet, beautiful world.  Your being has already made a difference.

It really has...I love and miss you JSS!

You've Got This

I spent the last 16 days by your side, watching as you labored positively and birthed your son bravely.  It was an honor to witness the raw you, the real you, in serious and tough and tender moments.

And now you've given your Jacob to the world, to all of us who love him so much, with your tireless efforts and watchful eye.  You've got this...you have educated and prepared yourself, and have a trusted circle of new mamas to lean on.   And I'm nearby. 245 miles is nothin'.  And even though I will miss our midnight snacks and pre-dawn diatribes about children's rights and society's responsibilities, and our sweet talks about a parent's role in the way a child experiences life, I will roll over at night, thanking God for your devotion to my Grandson, thanking God for the gift of you.

Jacob Steil Special

I've been away from home for nearly two weeks - heavily involved in welcoming my first grandchild - a boy - into the world. It's been such an honor, to have a front row seat during these early days of his life.  He is perfection and I'm finally able to see that for what it is - a grandmother's love. 

I probably hold him too much.  I know it's harder on me (and his mama) than him when he cries.  I'm spending some time trying to discern his cries, what they mean, how I can help.  I love him so much.

I like the night shift:  the house is quiet, I feel my efforts have value because others can sleep, I get quiet snuggles and, every day, a better understanding of who this perfect little human being actually is, and a better understanding of who I am, too.